Reply to Can you help me process finding out that sister has become really obese?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks to all who shared thoughtful comments and constructive suggestions. Several other posters seem to have missed my original comment that I am NOT going to make any comments about her weight gain or try to intervene with unsolicited weight-loss “help”. 
Others criticized me for not minding my own business and for making this about me. You’ve also missed the point: I care about her and want her to live a life that is not encumbered by    Health problems that can just worsen. Wanting to help, but knowing there’s a limited amount I can do, is frustrating hence my interest in suggestions.
I like the suggestion to keep in touch and in general ask what she is up to. I also like the idea of suggesting that she put herself first—which can only come across as a non-intrusive suggestion if I’m really listening to her and hear any thought from her end about her being stressed etc. 
just to clarify, she has not had a lifelong battle with her weight and she hasn’t had a lifelong unhealthy relationship with food. She was a healthy weight until her early 30s. However, I appreciate the comment from a PP about how much a struggle it is to lose weight. I imagine that it’s hard to stay active and have enough energy to burn more calories, and hard to cook healthy meals all the time if there is a busy household. [/quote]

Honestly OP?  As a woman who has struggled her whole life to weigh [i]enough[/i]...you're sounding judge-y, not concerned.  I think you need to stay in your lane and worry less about her weight and more about why you are so focused on something you can't control and it isn't even on your plate so to speak.  If she has gained weight, she is aware of it just as I am always aware when my weight has creeped too low.

FYI that if someone spontaneously told me that I should "put myself first" I would probably want to sock them in the face.  That is a pretty strong reaction from me considering that normally I'm a really Zen person.  Just the phrase makes my skin crawl because it is so patronizing.[/quote]

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