Reply to Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have known about this and have tried to be understanding over the years. Yes, her husband is controlling and financially abusive. I don’t think she would be doing some of these things were it not for him. But she keeps on making excuses for him and why she can’t leave. She’s lost the ability to gauge what is normal. Maybe that’s what is really bugging me. [/quote]

This is key for me. You have a "how do I support my friend who is in an abusive relationship" problem not a "how do I deal with my cheap friend" problem.  I would say, avoid social things that will be focused on food (so playtime where there will be snacks, okay, but don't go out for food together. Beyond that, you need to gently talk to her about leaving and about how distorted the way she is living is. So every time she complains, say "Honestly, I hate to see you and the kids living this way, you deserve better." and "When you are ready to leave, I'm here for you. You may not feel like you can leave, but I know you can do it." Have some local resources ready and share them if she seems in any way interested. The worst that happens is she feels angry at you, but that wouldn't be worse than the current situation.[/quote]

This would be true if OP were actually an empathetic and kind  person. Read her title. Read all her responses, she is not. [/quote]

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