Reply to How do you politely decline a request of guardianship?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you plan to say no, you can say something along the lines of what my brother said when I asked him: "You know I adore the kids" (I do and he does), "but if you have other, more settled people in your life you could ask, I should probably come after them" (he's a bachelor with chronic health issues). "But if you need me you know I'll always be there for them and will do whatever they need, and would be extra involved as an uncle." (I might, I do, and he would.) No hard feelings. I appreciated his honesty and self-awareness. He's still on the list, but he's like 4th in line. Just be really open and sincere and kind if you do say no. [/quote]

This is different. Your brother has reasons why it would be physically very difficult for him to fulfill the obligations, not just not wanting the burden. Plus, he said he would do it if needed. He sounds like a very good brother and uncle.

My sister asked one of our brothers if he would be the guardian for her son back when her son was a kid. Our brother declined, saying he didn't want kids. Now there are hard feelings 20+ years later. Our sister wasn't asking if he wanted kids; she was asking if he would care for her young son if he was alone in the world and had no one else to care for him. I was too young at the time to be considered, and I recall her being so upset because there really wasn't another decent option.

Now for my kids, my sister is #1 in line for guardianship and her husband is #2, because even if something happened to her then he would be our next best choice. We come from a really messed up family so there are very few safe options.

OP, do what you want, but know that it will probably harm your relationship if you say you'd rather leave her kid alone in the world.[/quote]

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