Reply to If you're from a big family, 4 + kids do you have or want a big family yourself?

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Reply to "If you're from a big family, 4 + kids do you have or want a big family yourself?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anecdotally, I think the desire to have a big family also depends on whether you were one of the oldest or youngest.  My parents both came from families of 5.  All of the older kids were adamant about not having more than two.  The younger ones wanted more -- but more like 3-4, not 5+.  Same with DH's family.  The older ones remember more of the drudgery and responsibility of having to watch younger kids, whereas the younger kids remember how fun it was with more people.  [/quote]

That doesn't hold for my family.  (I posted previously as one of 9.)   I think everyone in my family probably would have said they wanted either 2 or 3, regardless of whether they were in the birth order and how much they helped with the younger kids  -- some ended up with more or less, but that depended more on things like age at marriage, health issues, spousal preference, and accidental pregnancy.
I think the "helped with younger kids" obligation evened out a bit over the decades because the younger kids ended up taking care of the children that the older kids had...they basically had permanent free babysitting from the younger aunts and uncles, including for long vacations, work trips, etc.  So the older ones were repaid for their work a decade or so later.[/quote]

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