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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=TheManWithAUsername]I don't get the point. Women have it worse than men? Duh.

I think I would have started with physical weakness, bleeding genitals, hormonal fluctuations, and the burdens of pregnancy and breastfeeding.
[b]
To the people who think it's sad that some SAHMs think they're lucky...Jesus - could you be more bigoted?[/b][/quote]

I wouldn't say bigoted, as in intolerant, but I would certainly say that for many SAHMs on DCUM, the decision to SAH came about because they were unable to find a way to negotiate a working situation that accommodated young children. It was difficult to secure part-time work or to transition back to the office as if nothing had changed. They are now utterly financial dependent upon their partners, who hopefully, but may not always have their best interests in mind. They have given up the promise of education, both college and graduate, from some of the most selective schools in the country and given up a decade or more of professional experience to be at home with young children, cook, and clean.

I'm not saying that being at home with kids isn't deeply satisfying, but I would hardly describe the process as "lucky." Lucky, perhaps, to be married--at the moment--to someone who can support such a lifestyle, but certainly not fortunate to have to give so much up, including one's independence and one's identity outside the home. [/quote]

what a sad outlook.  Most SAHMs I know (actually, all) are doing it [b]by choice[/b], sacrificing less money because they get much more enriched from spending time with their children during these formative years. [/quote]

Ah, but what limited choices.

I'm guessing that you are friends with moms of young children. Once the children get older and are in school full-time, the regret is not having had the "choice" to work part-time and keep their professional identity and financial security.

The big problem is that professional women, a lot of lawyers and GS-15 gov't workers, make the drastic choice of all or nothing. I think that women should do more to fight for a more family-friendly workplace, but I also acknowledge that it's an uphill battle.

As for the men who "wish" that they could SAH or who think their wives are "lucky", I will believe that when men actually start taking advantage of paternity leave and bucking the trend. I'd also like to see men who are in management positions fight to make changes for parents like holding jobs for parents who take parental leave, establishing childcare centers in the workplace, etc., etc. I'd also like to see husbands contribute to their SAH wives' retirement and savings accounts as if their SAH wives had kept their jobs, rather than reinforce their wives' financial dependence. Dads, including my own DH, were afraid to take advantage of on-the-book policies because of unwritten rules about what is acceptable for men to do. I think that compared to the risks that their wives take, leaving their careers altogether, taking paternity leave is a relatively small sacrifice that sets an important precedent.[/quote]

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