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[quote=Anonymous]I am completely open about my reasons for our VERY large age gap (8+ years), but I do find it annoying that people immediately assume something is wrong when someone doesn't conform to the 2-3 year age gap norm

I had health issues with my first pregnancy in my late 20s, my husband was in school, our first was a handful, I switched from FT work to PT work, we didn't want to pay for 2 in daycare.  We waited 4 years to TTC by choice.

THEN we got surprised by unexplained secondary infertility.  Weren't completely sold on spending a damn fortune on/putting my already messed up body through treatments.  So, just kept trying for a while.  After about 2 years, finally decided to try IUI and nothing else.  Did get pregnant on the second cycle - had a miscarriage.  That was devastating.

THEN came a major marriage crisis after we had completed our first IUI round (3 cycles total) - it was really hard for a month or so.  We were just starting to talk again and had decided not to split/divorce....bam, pregnant without treatments.  It wasn't a save the marriage baby, though, as some might have thought (although few knew our marriage was in crisis to begin with - I didn't share with many people what was happening).

I share all this because you never know what is actually going on with a couple/family.  I mean, MAYBE what you're saying is right - but maybe this is what they planned, too.[/quote]

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