Reply to Why is everyone so mad at the colleges for their plans?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I am mad at DC's school (NYU) because they do not communicate with parents. At All. I have read about NYU's plans through DCUM, news reports and NYU posts on Facebook. NYU emails the students on their student accounts, which aren't checked regularly becaue students are not in school. Seeding an email to the student's school account does not always work well to get info to the student or the people who are paying. And they have the teh student's regular email account, and the parent's email accounts. The biggest joke was when I read that NYU was studying the NY state guidance on reopening educational institutions, and one of the top goals was to establish good communication with students and parents. It has not been done and complaints about the lack of communication are ignored.

The timing of announcements has been terrible too. DC goes to Tisch in the Film and TV program. The program sent out a message on Thursday July 2 at about 4P, which basically said don't bother coming back because classes will be online as much as possible, and you should use your own equipment (the message actually said phone cameras) for film projects- not ours. Students will not be allowed to use Tisch equipment and TIsch won't be charging the typical fees and insurance for the equipment for fall, but students are expected to pay the full tuition. Then the school was closed for the 3 day July 4 holiday weekend, and no questions were answered until Monday. A big reason to attend a film program is to learn how to use professional equipment. Without the opportunity to use Tisch equipment, it makes no sense to return, or take production classes. So this message was essentially telling Tisch students to stay home, change your plans and change your schedule all of which require interaction with school counselors and staff. You bet I'm mad Tisch made this important announcement and then all staff and counselors disappeared for 3 days.[/quote][/b]

You need to have your child sign the FERPA waiver (which both of our adult children did, understanding that we were paying full right).  Until you do that, NYU will not contact you regarding anything.  This is important for all parents to know because [b]colleges (to their own benefit) have decided that adulthood begins at 18[/b] notwithstanding the fact that parents may be paying for everything.  Until you do that, you will not be sent any emails and will not be able to advocate on behalf of your child for anything.  I'm an SN dad and learned this the hard way.  One of my nephews was flunking out of a SLAC in California but the parents - who were footing 75K a year - weren't notified.  It was only because the final notice that the child could NOT return to campus which was mailed to the child at the parents' address, did the parents learn that their child had been asked to leave.  Under you get your child to sign that, the college has no reason to communicate with you.[/quote]

[b]This is the standard legal definition of becoming an adult. Colleges did not arbitrarily come up with it on their own, nor out of the blue. [/quote][/b]

[b]But colleges take advantage of it.[/b]  And most parents have no idea that they are sending checks in to a college that won't talk to them if there is a legal or medical issue.  This is why you must have your children sign the FERPAwaiver.  Otherwise, if your kid is caught in some problematic illness, rape, drinking issue, dorm violations, etc. etc. etc. the college will not call you. I WANT TO BE CALLED if my DS or DD have been arrested, are accused of something or hospitalized.  Unless you get the FERPA waiver, which we have done for all three kids, you have no voice[/quote]

[b]Noooo ... it's a demarcation. For legal purposes, they are an adult.

This isn't "taking advantage of it." It's following federal and state legislation. You can lobby to change the law, if you like. Go ahead. You can't rightly criticize universities and colleges for following the laws that they are required to follow.

Develop a better relationship with your kids before they become adults, if you want them to tell you things after they are adults. Set limits on what you will pay for -- limit the amount, and/or require they review their grades with you, or whatever. But they ARE adults. If they are not (because of disability, etc), then you should have already applied for legal guardianship, and this would be moot[/b]. [/quote]

DP, not one of the PPs to whom you are responding, but PP -- if you have a college student currently, or will have one, do you also believe you do not need medical power of attorney? [b]Because you clearly don't believe in FERPA for parents re: grade information. [1]
[/b]
Fine. Not life or death, right?

But the college's information aside, there is good reason to have medical POA over your "adult" child. If that student is incapacitated and in a clinic or hospital, unless you have a medical POA you may not get a call to tell you your adult child is unconscious and injured. That's not about the colleges, it's about HIPPA regulations etc.

I have a feeling you might say, well, so what, the parent should be listed as the emergency contact and that takes care of it.

OK, you might get the call -- but you will possibly have zero input into your adult child's treatment. Even if [i]your[/i] health insurance is covering your child. Just a heads-up that[b] if college students are fully adults, they are considered such if they turn up in an emergency room [/b] [2] and cannot advocate for themselves. Without the proper paperwork, you cannot advocate for them either or have input into treatment decisions.

This issue is one you should think about during this pandemic if you send your adult off to college. [/quote]

Oh, I think it's fine to request your child get a FERPA waiver, and especially appropriate in certain circumstances. And medical POA. I'm a physician, and I understand how and why that is important.

I just don't expect universities to break the law for my convenience. I've had that conversation with young adults, and I'm happy to have it again. They get to say "no," but that may come with consequences.

[1] No.
[2] Of course -- same as for my parents, my husband, my adult (unmarried) brother, etc. If my son or daughter is still depending on me to advocate for them in times of crisis, then I will do so. We'll have that talk. [/quote]

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