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[quote=Anonymous]13/14 year old boys can be nightmares.  They really can.

But that doesn't mean the comments are acceptable and should go without punishment/correction.

I've got the "Jones" Family Rules posted on the fridge:

Courtesy is owed
Respect is earned
Love is given

He's failing that first one for sure.  And I'd give consequences.  Also, be aware boys are getting pummeled with sexist and racist messages online.   The sexist messages could be really influencing him here, if he's using these types of comments about his sister.  IT's time to have an explicit conversation with him about treating anyone badly, and the subset of treating women badly.   He needs to know it's wrong, full stop.

Looking at behavior modification -- it depends what the underlying issue is.  Does he have a very low frustration tolerance?   Does he get upset easily?  Does he tend to see things in black and white?   If so, you can help him become more flexible in his thinking so that he's less likely to lash out when frustrated.

Also, does he have to do chores on a regular basis?  Does he get away with shirking chores and other "non-preferred" tasks?   Making him do stuff outside of himself helps on many levels.  It makes him less self centered (at least in the long run) and also makes him learn how to manage his frustrations about doing stuff he doesn't like.  So when he runs into someone else doing something he doesn't like (like regular sibling disagreements), he can use some of these frustration-management skills to help stay calm, or calm down faster without hurling nasty comments her way.

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