Reply to When teen says something that is really damaging to relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your son might be a sexual assault survivor.[/quote]

I'm guessing OP is the survivor. [/quote]

True. And it was in family and even my DH doesn’t know.

Ok. Wow. Haven’t thought about that in years. [/quote]

Well. i think this is a big part of why you reacted that way.  What he said was stupid and uncool but it triggered you in a particular way due to your history.  You might need to tell him about this—I think it would be enlightening for him to learn that words can have a different impact on people based on their life experiences.  [/quote]

OP, please do not tell your son about your history without processing with a therapist. PP: the son has a right to express his wish not to be touched — without burdening him with “triggering “ his mother’s past experience of abuse.

PP: Funny that you went there — instead of, say, noting that it might be enlightening for Mom — or anyone — to learn that TOUCHING can have a different impact on people based on their life experiences and personal wishes.

Imagine if when the son first reacted, his Mom had apologized for touching him without asking. Had she taken ownership of the impact of her behavior, the situation might not have spiraled into what has now become a huge issue for the whole family.  [/quote]

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