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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She'll need to make a lifestyle change if this is affecting her so greatly that she wants help from family in another country. Maybe she needs to move somewhere that is more walkable or close to public transport. It doesn't sound like something she willing or able to overcome at this point in her life. Plenty of people live without driving. She will need to figure it out.[/quote]

OP here.  People are attacking me for being intolerant and mean, but my sister is very stubborn and difficult to get along with.  She can't maintain a friendship or romantic relationship for very long, which is why she needs me now and is why she is asking me to come from another country to help her once again  Our relationship consists of me giving and her taking: I listen to her talk about her problems and herself, while she would never ask about me or how I am doing, and over the years I have repeatedly gone to great lengths to get her out of various mishaps that she caused herself.  She has never remembered my birthday, even though I send her a gift every year for hers, and she makes no attempt to communicate with or show interest in my child.

She's a little bit like Sheldon Cooper: very rigid and has always assumed and expected me to help her out of messes that she mostly creates for herself.  I feel a great deal of responsibility for her and yes, I have not always behaved in ways that make me proud now.  I love her, but she is the most exasperating person I know.

[/quote]

This is how HFA/ aspergers presents in females. They can mock more emotions and empathy but don’t really have it.

She is not going to change. Read the Tony Attwood book. 
Help her when you can, but generally disassociate and never rely on her for actual help (in your will, with childcare, power of atty, help w health issues). 
Don’t give marital advice to her or her husband, neurotypical + aspergers “relationships” are a real struggle.

Don’t let her bring you down anymore. [/quote]

Women/girls on the spectrum don’t present as a monolith.  Plus relationships are hard for everyone—hence the divorce rate.

Op, you don’t need to read any books.  It’s not going to change anything in regards to your sister.[/quote]

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