Reply to Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?

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Reply to "Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Medication has already been suggested, so I’ll go a different route.

You need to pick one behavior you want to change.  Pay attention to the thought pattern(s) that precedes the behavior.  When you’ve identified the thought pattern, (thought patterns can be a very very long or quite short) start to pay attention to the triggering thought.  When that thought happens, you have to retrain your brain so that it leads to a different behavior.  You need to mentally rehearse/visualize changing the thoughts and behavior.

Love and logic teaches this in a very specific style that works for some people.  You plan and mentally rehearse what you’re going to say, so even when you’re angry, you use an auto pilot response.

The visualization and rehearsal is like practicing shooting free throws—you build muscle memory in hopes of better outcomes.

The hard part with parenting is it’s a long game.  All the best decisions and practices may or may not result in happy, healthy adults.  As much as we think we control the day-to-day, we don’t control the future.

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