Reply to Why are people attracted to mean/toxic people, especially if they have a lot of options?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was told people from 'normal' families do not have the ability to recognize those with risk factors from troubled, dysfunctional pasts.  They don't know that: hurt people will hurt people.

I completely see this.  They can't fathom the innate dysfunction or mental issues in people and assume the best.  The 'broken' people can put on one helluva an act and these trusting souls are completely baffled when the meanness and toxicity starts to rear its head---sometimes its several years into marriage before these people they married started acting out what they saw as children growing up.[/quote]

Oof. +1

This happened to me. What a horrendous "education". Awful.
[/quote]

Me too.

I knew his dad was a cheating alcoholic that abandoned the family and his mom was cold.

He was ambitious to leave that behind, great University, extremely good looking, charming, brilliant, funny and at 26 from a very loving family with parents that were so involved with my siblings and I and a large extended family with zero divorces I believed him when he said he would never be like his dad.  Year 18 of marriage (minus alcohol) just like his dad.  A narcissist.  I am smart but was naive other than I thought his parents divorce was a red flag but in the beginning he was all about staying married/faithful and never hurting his family.  I thought seeing what that did was motivation not to be like that.

I am telling my boys not to get involved with any girl from a dysfunctional family.  The scars run deep.[/quote]

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