Reply to Disclosing abortion to past boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP. Thanks for those that have responded and been kind. For that that haven't been, I hope that you never experience something that haunts you like this has haunted me. It's not fun.

To clarify, I do not currently have a therapist that is recommending this course of action. These were the consistent recommendations of 6 or so different therapists (and a priest) over the course of, say, 3 years after the abortion. Since that time, I have married, had children and have a very demanding career, employees who rely on me for guidance (plus now homeschooling on top of that). There has been no time for my own therapy. I think the reason that the therapists were suggesting truth is to help me be "seen". I don't know what a therapist would say now if I brought it up.

Re: does my husband know. I disclosed that I had an abortion when I was pregnant with our first child. I did not tell him that I hadn't disclosed it to the boyfriend. He is aware that I have sought therapy in the past and that I went through difficult times related to that relationship. He made me feel like dirt for having an abortion and said that I should have told him before we got married.

Re: mental stability. I am aware that I suffer from severe depression and that is why I take medication, so that I can get up every day and go to work, take care of my children, be a productive member of society, etc. From the outside in, people I know would describe me as 100 pct together, someone who manages home and work successfully. I would never disclose to anyone but the anonymous internet how I feel inside, especially now that I have discovered that even the anonymous internet is fairly disgusted with me. I know that I had problems before I met him. I had a difficult childhood - emotionally absent and narcissistic parents (at least this is what the therapists that I worked with said based on reviewing my background).

Re: my expectations for his reaction. I wasn't expecting to get a reaction, nor was I expecting to to talk in person or on the phone. The most I was considering was sending an email so that I knew I had made an attempt to be truthful and confront my fear.

Re: the length of my post. Yeah, sorry. I have never written any of this down so haven't developed the Cliff's Notes version.  [/quote]

OP...telling him 3 years later and 20+ years later are completely different things. You know that, right?  And then you planned on dropping this bomb in an email? Find a therapist. You can carve out 30 minutes a week for a phone/video session.[/quote]

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