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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t even know where to start.  As parents, we were loving, involved, provided opportunities for an excellent education, sports, music, tutors etc.   We are kind, well informed, healthy, parents.  Pursued therapy and medication as appropriate.  My daughter turned out great.

My son is now 17 and

Smokes marijuana regularly (those who haven’t dealt with this please don’t go into where do they get it, the money etc. they find a way)
Does bare minimum at school
Has a crappy attitude
Quit all his sports 
Has a terrible temper (think holes in walls) 
Doesn’t exercise
Vapes/smokes 
Eats horribly 
Isn’t very motivated
Is immature 
Risk taker 
Adhd - takes medicine during school day
Some learning disabilities, not major

I am at a loss and trying not to give up on him, but it’s been years of trying to get him good help, support, trying to enforce boundaries and the list goes on.  I’m just tired and incredibly sad about this. [/quote]

Hi OP. Just want to share an encouraging word. I could've written almost this exact post two years ago about my kid but add in two psychiatric hospitalizations to the list. Junior year was incredibly stressful. Therapy with a therapist my kid respected and liked was very, very important as was finding the right medication. You may want to look into DBT therapy as this helped with building coping skills. It took two years for us to get through it. Our psychiatrist took more of a harm reduction approach to the marijuana use. It faded away once my kid was able to build skills to address anxiety. We just focused on what our kid needed and and not  the norms in our community. For example, high school was a major stress point for my kid so for senior year my kid only took the classes required to graduate and this resulted in less stress and the shut down due to COVID-19 was a blessing in disguise - a chance to reset.

My main message is don't give up! [/quote]

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