Reply to Armchair shrinks: Why does my MIL never, ever call us?

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Reply to "Armchair shrinks: Why does my MIL never, ever call us?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Now, I come from a very loud and nosy close-knit family, so this may seem even stranger for me, but...

If we didn't reach out to my MIL, we would never, ever see or hear from her. EVER. 
When we see her or call, she is lovely. If we ask her to visit, she's delighted to come. She is great and loving with the kids.
But ... we initiate literally EVERY. SINGLE. CONTACT. It's so weird!
She never asks about the kids, inquires about their schoolwork, asks what they're up to, calls to say hello, asks about DH's job (or mine, but whatever), etc.
She is great if you call her, great in a crisis, lovely if you call to check in with her.
BUT WE NEVER, EVER HEAR FROM HER.

I asked DH today, hey, have you called your mom lately? How is she? DH realized that if I hadn't asked it would have been two months (!) since he spoke to her.

I guess I'm wondering what the mindset is for a grandparent/parent like this. As I said, I cannot relate - my family is probably (too!) involved. But what goes through the head of someone who literally just...never reaches out or picks up the phone? DH thinks she had a very nosy mother and is therefore devoted to "not intruding." She often says she does not want to intrude. Well OK, but we have both told her, MANY times, that we would appreciate and love if she reached out but still nothing? Like, does she think of calling but not? Out of sight out of mind (that seems awful?)? Can someone explain this way of being to me?

[/quote]

She might be an introvert.[/quote]

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