Reply to No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't have this situation currently, but when I've experienced this, it doesn't bother me deeply, it only solidifies my beliefs. It's ok to grow apart because of values/differences. Remaining respectful is important. Your kids accomplishments don't impress them as they don't value them/don't have a frame of reference for education mattering. Just share as you like and pretend to also be suitably impressed by the things that don't impress you either.

I've seen good professional/hard working people boast about sad accomplishments like adult kids getting jobs/new car/cleaning up the house where they are living rent free/whatever... things that should have been a given, growing up how they did... they end up celebrating what they have. I think families just respond by 'celebrating' all the good things the various grandkids are doing. Just plow forward and once your kids are old enough to be aware of the difference, just explain it to them so hopefully they continue your values in valuing education/learning/climbing professional ladders instead of living paycheque to paycheque, not growing, etc.

I gave up one day when I was explaining an internship my mother asked about and my mother couldn't stop interrupting me repeatedly to tell me things like how beautiful and shiny my older sister's hair was and how she vacuumed the floors for her and how nice she was. She was 37 at the time, jobless and living at home. The parents were not elderly/infirm, they just weren't pushing her out of the nest. I just quietly said "My hair is shiny as well. I clean my home daily and I think I'm nice too". "Of course you are honey... I'm just letting you know what xxx is up to!" Massive eyeroll.

Literally there was a time that I could say my toddler was cleaning up his books and my mother would say "Your sister did that here today! He gets it from her!"..... ok, cool! I lost my mother a few years later so can no longer hear her goofy comparisons but I can honestly say I'd eyeroll through them again if I could.[/quote]

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