Reply to Men... in a casual relationship is this text too forward or just right?

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[quote=Anonymous]So I'm in my early 40s, female, divorced, full-time single mom. I've had a great FWB (he's 45, divorced, no kids) for the last year. It's my first time in such an arrangement. The sex is mindblowing, we genuinely like each other's company and our "relationship" is based on safety, honesty, reliability and respect. We generally see each other once a week or once every other week (this was pre-COVID).

I agree that it can be difficult to maintain a long-term FWB, especially with the often female (but sometimes male) tendency to "catch feelings". It's rare to be aligned with a FWB in terms of desires and expectations over the long term, which is something that my friend and I have talked about sometimes. The reason that it works in my case comes down to a few key things:

1. I'm not looking for a partner at this point in time, have no desire to remarry or have another child. Same in his case. If I wanted those things, I would definitely not be wasting my time with him. In this this, I think OP and I are similar.

2. He has way too many deal breakers for me to ever consider him as any kind of serious contender. This is super important, because great sex and the hormones associated with that can make us get carried away, especially if there's alcohol and/or weed involved. It sounds like OP's got the same thing going on, in terms of her dude's kids being a dealbreaker.

3. There is a genuine friendship, which has actually developed a lot further during the quarantine as we've been unable to see each other. But we regularly text (more often than not it's sexting, but also plenty of joke sharing, food photos, etc.) and have video'd a couple of times, just like I would do with a regular friend. As such I have no stress about how to communicate with him, how often, etc. OP, your nervousness about a simple text communication suggests that you don't have true friendship in your situation, despite knowing the guy for 25 years. If you've barely communicated during the quarantine, that indicates the same in my mind. So you have to decide if you're OK to just have a sporadic f*ckboy (because that's what it sounds like this) who you're unsure how to communicate with. A true FWB is something else.  [/quote]

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