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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to troll.  This is sort of therapeutic, as I slowly think things through and try to regain my sanity and bearings.  I’m utterly isolated, cognitively damaged, and very depressed (thanks Wellbutrin) so I appreciate those of you who can put up with me.

The responses when we fight always seem to come down to “after all I’ve done for you!”[/quote]

OP, aside from financially, why do you feel trapped?[/quote]

I made a promise, in a church, to marry her.  I am a Christian and as naive as that may sound and may be I take it seriously.  [b]The first promise I made - the best one - I broke.  I'm scared of what happens if I do it again.[/b]

She has no source of income apart from mine.  (Of course I am effed financially, but for now anyway I am THE income.)

I am scared about my mental and physical health being alone.  I have not been "independent" (solo) to speak of since about four months after graduating from college almost 25 years ago.

Her kids have not had a stable father figure in years.  Only one kid is left at home.  Granted, I am doing a piss-poor job of being a step dad because I came in late to the picture, because of depression, and because I feel so utterly disconnected from their mother.  I just can't feel like I can honestly generate the enthusiasm when I feel so ambiguously about their mother.

Wife noted with bitterness the other day I only seem happy when I am texting or talking to my kids.  She was right.  We miss each other terribly and it's almost like the past year-year and a half didn't happen.  I apologized to my kids and my youngest sent me the sweetest message back, basically saying "you're my father, I forgave you a long time ago" and she accepted my explanation of why I went radio silent (trying to save my health by avoiding drama - I didn't get into the detail of the drama being largely driven by my wife).

If she had a job and could support herself in any way I probably would have given up and left by now. [/quote]

I'm a Christian who is also divorced.  Did the ground swallow you up into hell the first time?  Didn't think so.  You're honestly using this ridiculous excuse for absolutely no reason.  YOU ARE ALREADY DIVORCED.  Doing it again doesn't damn you further. [/quote]

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