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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I’m not the freeloader.  As indicated before I’m the sole income apart from her child support from her previous marriage.  My own kids can’t support me for goodness sakes, their teens.  Lots of interesting narratives and assumptions here.

I’m certainly NOT ever showing these threads to anyone.  I’m an embarrassing train wreck so I’m really not sure what showing them to anyone would achieve.

I have no peers, lost my friends in the divorce, I’m an only child with barely any family, and I work from home.  DCUM is the only place I can think of to get perspective anonymously.  It helps to set my bearings when I’m being told by my wife that some idea or plan (like apologizing to my kids) for being absent) is stupid or wrong.

I apologized to ex MIL because it’s been weighing on me for a very long time and I recently learned she’s showing early stages of Alzheimer’s.  This was my last chance, perhaps, to have that conversation.  I apologized to ex BIL because he is a good man and was family.  He is in -absolutely- no position to help me if my life depended on it and lives 700 miles away.  Is it possible I’m trying to do the right thing after doing so much damage? :/

If someone thinks I’m NPD/BPD I’m all ears as to why.

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