Reply to Is this fixable (getting out of a bad relationship pattern)?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is this fixable (getting out of a bad relationship pattern)?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, By your lack of response in the last few pages I assume that you either don't like what advice you are being given. You may think "these strangers don't know us" which is true, but what is also true is that many of us have been exactly where you are. With a partner who, for whatever reason (inability, not wanting to, life) hasn't been able to fulfill what we needed in a relationship. Rarely does someone who is failing to meet the basic needs of their partner change without a lot of help, understanding and wanting to do so. They have to ACTIVELY want to do better and TRY to do better. You have given us zero indication that your BF wants to do better or even thinks he should. His ongoing behavior of avoidance and non communication is very troubling and will present it self in many forms should you stay together. If you are serious about him, don't you want someone you can rely on? Don't you deserve someone who communicates his thoughts/feelings/plans with you even if they don't include you? I don't know if you want kids or not, but let me tell you they can be a game changer. If you have a partner who is not 100% open and honest with you and that you can count on during that time? Trust me, you don't want to be in THAT position.

Don't look at the last 6 months as wasted. I am sure you have grown as a person and now realize that communication is an important part of what you need in a relationship. You can actively seek out those who can talk to you. Aren't afraid to disagree with you. ARen't afraid to tell you their thoughts/feelings and that you can count on when they say they will do something. I am not saying that this guy is a horrible person or a bad guy. He is likely quite charming and fun and likely has a lot of great qualities or i am sure you would have ditched him by now. But the fact is he does fall short of what you need and deserve and you don't need to compromise something as serious as the way he treats you just stay together. 
You are worth more than that and you deserve more than that. Your future children deserve knowing if Dad will be there or not. Don't put more time and entergy into something that just isn't right for you. It is hard to see that now and i am sure he is promising a bunch of changes. But the truth is it is just talk and he won't because he doesn't see the need. It is easier for him to just beg forgiveness after each of these instance and there will be many. Eventually he will say you are nagging him and to stop bringing it up. You will seriously think this is your fault and you will be here posting withing 2 years asking if you are expecting too much out of your DH.

Spoiler alert. You are not. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics