Reply to Why don't people reciprocate socially these days?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here--so my question is, [b]why don't they just return my follow up email/call?  [/b]They don't have to actually reciprocate, but why do they just ignore me after that, despite a fun outing?  I don't understand why someone would do that.  Can anyone who has done that shed some light as to why?  I could understand if the outing didn't seem to go well, but it always does and they say how much fun they had, and then I never hear from them again.  This has happened to me over and over.  It has really done a number on my self-esteem!  But I really want to have friends here.[/quote]

That is weird to me.  Even if someone is busy, I do not understand why they cannot take a moment to write an email or text back just to say "Thanks for the great time, really busy and will catch up later."  The only thing I can think if is maybe you did "hit it off" as well as you think you did?  Maybe the person did not want to follow up because they did not want to give you the wrong impression and then have you invite them out again?

I am not trying to be rude, but did you really get along with these people as well as you think?  Sometimes people do not read body language cues well and eventhough they might have been nice and polite, you did not see that they were not that into the friendship thing?  Hope it works out.[/quote]

OP here.  Well, I have certainly thought about the possibility that maybe we didn't have as great a time as I thought.  But the other person usually says things like "I had such a great time, let's do this again soon" so when they say things like that I'm led to believe they had fun too.  I don't know.  That's why I went to a therapist, so she could give me some real input about what I'm doing wrong.  But after seeing her for 3 months, she couldn't tell me anything I was doing wrong or that I come across in a certain way.  So what do I do now?  How can I figure out what I'm doing wrong?  DH has seen me in lots of social situations, I asked him to be honest with me and he couldn't come up with anything either.[/quote]

PP you responded to here.  You really do sound like a nice normal person, which sometimes you can tell on an anonymous board  :mrgreen:  In any case, dont take it personally, maybe you have just met the wrong people.  Not all of us are stuck up snobs!  I for one am married but no kids yet (just our baby dog) and I have some months scheduled full in advance with get- togethers with girl friends and other couples for dinner.  The weekend are normally split into "me time" "DH and me time" and then "social things" which I definitely do not always like to do but I want to make time for friends.  I can only think that when we have kids we are going to be hermits and our friends will hate us.

I am sorry you have encountered this but like other pp's suggested, maybe meeting someone at a hobby activity would help.  I dont think its an excuse that people are too busy to get back to you especially when they said "lets do this again, etc."  its jsut rude and inconsiderate.  I also feel terrible you saw a therapist over this because I am sure it hurt your feelings, but it really does not sound like its your issue.  Just some rude people you met.  Hope things get better![/quote]

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