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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do the lion's share of the work around my house while working full-time. My dw works part-time and by dcurbanmom standards should be doing much more.  I don't resent her for it.  She's never been good at keeping a tidy, well organized house.  She has lots of other great qualities and I focus on those.  if the house isn't perfect at times, so be it.  I'm not blowing up my kids lives just because I'm required to do 30% more of the work.  I get there's more to it than just splitting responsibilities but maybe your DH is just a slob and it has nothing to do with respect or inequality.  [/quote]

I don’t know.  It’s not just about doing it.  It’s kind of the attitude of the other person.  If it’s “I don’t care about this, and I really appreciate you picking up the slack here,” then that’s great.  If it’s “I don’t care about this, and it’s stupid for you to care about it,” then that kind of wears on you.  
That kind of attitude translates to other things too.  Like sex and foreplay, caring for children, exercise, meals, paid employment, etc. 
 For example, there are always the guys on here saying that they don’t care of their wives work or not as long as they are attractive.  If you feel that your wife’s job is superfluous and don’t care about it, feel that you could easily live without her income, and can’t understand that SHE cares about it, then how does it go when her paid employment impinges on your free time?  
It really isn’t about the dishes.  It’s about not seeing your spouse as a separate individual who might have different goals and values than you do and understanding that those are perfectly reasonable.  Women certainly do this too.  I’m not saying that they don’t.  But it’s so much less common.   
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