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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

PP, I am raising my daughter to be equal to my son.  I am raising my son to be equal to my daughter.  I am raising both of them to take care of themselves independently and to be able to take care of a family independently.  I am raising them to become equal partners in a future domestic relationship; neither should grow up to be the slave to another human.

My time is as valuable as my husband's.  It is not my job to clean up after him (even if you think it is easy or quick or nice for me to do so.)  All the time that my husband expected me to do his share of cleaning, planning, child raising, grocery shopping, etc.  Is time that I could have spent on my own personal and career development and building relationships with others.  I don't mind doing 50%; I expect that.  I will not do more than 50%.  That extra time that my husband expected me to spend on him is simply a theft of time and a hindrance to my ability to accumulate all kinds of capital (physical, financial, social, etc.).  I also will not abide by rules that do not also apply to my husband.  If one parent goes out with buddies for an evening, the other parent has a right to equal personal time.

I divorced my husband because he believed that different rules and responsibilities applied to him than applied to me.  I did not marry to become a servant to another grown adult, and I sure as hell wasn't going to model that kind of servant relationship for my kids.  Better that they grow up in a divorced home but grow into thoughtful independent adults, than model my exDH's behavior. [/quote]

Sometimes marriage is 70/30 or 30/70. It's never 50/50. It's obvious why you're divorced. [/quote]

Marriage is about 70/70[/quote]

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