Reply to Do you raise your children differently given what you know about relationships?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad was the best man in the world.  He treated my mom as an equal and did a huge part of childcare. In fact, he coached all of our travel sports team.  He also was the cook and the one to plan meals, grocery shop.  My mom loved to clean, seriously.

We were UMC.  3 kids.  2 girls 1 boy, we all benefited from seeing this lovely marriage and my parents did not believe in “gender chores”.  Girls also mowed the lawn and took out the trash and my brother was required to set the table, do laundry, etc.

I feel sorry for so many of you that grew up in households with crappy parents/marriages.

What you should tell your kids, is to look closely at a future partner’s families and how they interact. It’s predictive of the future.[/quote]

Yeah but then no one would ever marry someone whose parents were divorced or who was abused. You can’t judge people from the sins of their fathers. I came from a family with a typical sahm/ husband who doesn’t do chores. My family can’t get over how helpful Dh is. I’m glad my parents only had daughters. [/quote]

Dysfunction slips out over time.  Wait until your spouse is middle aged.  I should have heeded “alcoholic, philanderer/serial cheater” as a warning sign when my husband was anything but that at 27.  Check back when your spouse hits middle age.

People raised with dysfunctional parents communicate and argue dysfunctionally over time unless they spent a lot of time in individual therapy.  It’s their unconscious default pattern.[/quote]

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