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[quote=Anonymous]Could she have 'oppositional defiance'?  Is her character like that of anyone in your family?  I totally agree with the PP who said that "some things cannot be punished away."  However, in interacting with kids like this I make clear my rules as in, "No, we don't use that kind of language in this house." I have quite often seen children who yell at their own parents behave in totally different way in my home because they know I will not invite them back if they do not.  They also know that I have cancelled playdates if my own kids break my rules.  As a teacher I have walked into a class of misbehaving kids and had them all quiet within 2 minutes.  We all make mistakes but children these days have no incentive to try their best because they lose nothing by refusing to control themselves.  I have a daughter who can be rude and obstinate and speak disrespectfully.  "Is your behavior appropriate? No, it's not. Where is your phone? Thank you. You will not be seeing it again for six weeks." Before I took a harsh approach I would confirm with a professional that there are not other issues.[/quote]

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