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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Perfectionist mom can’t deal with mess"
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[quote=Anonymous]I have the same ages, OP, and I hate life right now. I feel really bad for working parents right now; I can't imagine how awful it must be. One thing that helps me to accept mess is remembering a podcast episode in which a mom of grown kids was asked what was something she'd go back and tell herself as a younger mother. She said something like, "Let the messes go a bit. It's going to create so much stress and anger for you, and you're going to look back and say, 'was a clean house really worth all that?'" When I see books strewn on the floor I try to remember that. (Here is the ep: https://www.coffeeandcrumbs.net/season-four/2019/4/30/ep65-parenting-for-the-long-haul) The other thing that helps me to accept the mess is something I read in "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen," the authors say that a mess does not register with or bother kids at all -- they just have a completely different reading of the room than we do. So they're not thinking, "this room is a mess and I don't care;" they are thinking, "which toy am I going to play with?" Taking away the feeling of, "They're just making messes to spite me!" helped me detach from it a bit. I'm so sorry. This is awful. Good luck.[/quote]
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