Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of someone who gets cheated on and stays?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ trust me when I say this: his behavior indicates he’s most likely cheating.  Typical gaslighting behavior.  Sounds exactly like my spouse before I accidentally stumbled upon evidence of an affair[/quote]

PP here. You're probably right. In my gut, I know he has. Plus I've seen things like condoms that dwindle in numbers, and I know I'm not any part of using them. It's just that having a faithful romantic partner isn't even on my top 100 list right now. The only thing about the lack of loving partner that bothers me is that we're modeling NOT having that for our kids. Right now I'm focused on how to figure out what the best situation is for the kids and me. I'd like to think that maybe one day I might have that after the kids are grown and on their own. It's kind of sad to think I would go through life never having a loving spouse, but it's also just not a priority for me right now.

I'm obviously one of the broken people with childhood trauma that some pp's were talking about. I thought I had broken away from my abusive past, but it looks like I'm just perpetuating it although not as bad as the home I grew up in. I'm hearing a lot of scorn from people looking down on people like me, but I think the scornful really don't understand how hard it is to build a healthy life when you came from pure hell. I've been trying to do better my whole life, but it's just so hard to see the signs and make good choices when you didn't grow up with that. It's hard to explain to people who didn't have that kind of childhood. I thought I was doing better than I was but now I realize that I'm not.[/quote]

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