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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m in a ton of shock right now.  The level of deception —especially during a time like this-has me reeling.

There are no divorces on either side of my family.  My parents had a very happy marriage and I had a great childhood.

That’s what I will mourn for my kids and it will change the rest of their lives.  My family does big family holidays and everyone is tight knit.

His family is full of dysfunction which I should have cared more about and seen red flags in my 20s.  His father was a real piece of work. We’ve been married 21 years.

I feel physically sick to my stomach.  And it’s a f@cking pandemic so it’s not like we can go anywhere.

[/quote]
Yes, it is very shocking. How did you find out? How was he having an affair during the pandemic? Making up fake errands or work? Does he want to get divorced? [/quote]

Fake need to go into the office yesterday having to do with security computer patch.  Had been complaining it might be a possibility since Monday.

Are you ready for this?  I am looking at my photos (are phones sync) and there is obviously a photo that was accidentally taken of a floor half bed window and his pants underwear on floor and I see laptop in corner all with iPhone date stamp and location.

Things have been good.  He was seeing a therapist on his own.  He claims because of this and he ended it yesterday.  He was working with therapist about coming clean and on himself.  Therapy part is true but he had anger issues (not scary) and I now know why he was snapping at kids.  Still always trying to have sex, normal in every other way...

Truly the last thing I would expect.

And we’ve not had anyone in our home, wear gloves mask at grocery store, kids don’t have play dates...

And he does this?!?!!  Omg.   I really can’t make this up and it’s so far-fetched I can’t even confide in neighbors/friends because I have my kids to think about.

No way can I recover from this.  I am still in literal shock phase.  No prior signals.[/quote]

I got this story beat, I'm sorry I don't have time to write it out all right now but I could write a screenplay and sell it to Hollywood. He had had been so short tempered, fussy and dismissive with me. We had agreed to go to counseling - in conclusion one day he told me he was going on a work trip and I knew it wasn't true so I put an extra phone in his luggage and did find my iPhone.  Only place in the location was a hotel 300 miles from where he said he was going, I actually called the hotel and asked for his room, I almost passed out when the front desk connected me, I chickened out and hung up. I was waiting in the lobby in the morning, %#^ really hit the fan. My 8 year old innocently told me he had been taking her to hang out with this woman while we were together.  Things got 1000X worse, he eventually ran off with her. Two kids, at first I was angry, then I was devastated and wanted my family back I would have done anything.

The craziest divorce and custody case more and more crap kept coming out.   He realized he made a mistake and a year later comes crawling back but he has to tell me something first.  He had a 3 yo child in his country from different woman than the one I caught him with, our youngest was 4 years. A couple of months before I caught him in the hotel I was pregnant and he pressured me into an abortion against my will under the guise he was so concerned about my health as I had lupus and my sister had just passed away from the lupus and my pregnancies are extremely are high risk.

His family all knew about the child and kept it a secret. I had been extremely close with his mother and had to cut her off. To this day he is delusional and insists we are still married and will not allow me to move on with my life.  I was a SAHM and was ruined for a short period but I was able to get back into my lucrative specialized field quite easily. I got full custody because he moved across the country for work. I've been in therapy for three years but I'm still quite damaged by thing that he did that I didn't include in this narrative but things are much better for me emotionally now that I have some distance from the events. I am still astounded by his capacity for deception. You are stronger then you know, its not just a cliche.[/quote]

Holy crap. [/quote]

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