Reply to First time parents and husband is horrible

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "First time parents and husband is horrible"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- thanks to the “horrible” man for your post- I appreciate your honesty and how you stuck with it.  Though I am not sure I’d be so happy waiting five years!

I know DH loves the baby.  But he’s just like a deer in head lights.  I know a lot of women say that men are terrified that they’ll do something wrong, but it’s not it.  Somethjng is just not clicking.  I DO tell him that I’m going to go do this, do that, I don’t ever ask him to watch her.

I’ll be honest though, I do get sad when I see other pics of men that just seem totally hands on and natural with their baby and being totally doting.  I don’t have any pictures of my DH with baby like that- just literally like a deer in headlights.  I will say though it is also refreshing to hear other moms say that they had trouble bonding as well, it sounds like maybe this isn’t talked about so much.  Social media has totally warped what to expect in parenthood![/quote]

so if he's like a deer in a headlights that means he's in a fight or flight mentality where he is too scared to access the parts of his brain where he's ready to learn. Imagine that you were doing something you've never done for the first time like fly a plane And you basically were in such a panic you can't calm down enough to actually learn what to do or problem-solve. The first problem is figuring out how to cope with the fear so that you can get to a point where your brain is ready to learn.

The second issue seems to be that you never actually want to talk to him about the problem or figure out some ways that he can try to step in. Is there a non-judgmental way that you can tell him that you need him to do more to bond with your kid
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics