Reply to Asked DH for divorce then his aunt died

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't rock my kid's world with a divorce right now. I keep reading about things related to lifelong issues that come from the anxiety of growing up during the Great Depression and how their parents handled it. I'd give it 6 months and see if everything improves now that she's dead.[/quote]

Op here. Good point about the kids. They’re little so not fully sure how they are processing this all.[/quote]

Something else to keep in mind is that your husband could find a new person to fill the void left by his aunt - maybe in the form of a horrible stepmom for your children? [b]He was easily manipulated[/b] into letting someone (aunt) treat someone he loved very poorly (you.) I wouldn’t be surprised if he falls into the same pattern with a new girlfriend/wife except your children are going to be new targets.

Take some time. It’s for you as much as for him. 
[/quote]

Everyone is manipulated by their parents. Some are unfortunate enough to be raised by people who have a messed up view of the world. It takes years to unravel a lot of the crap we all learn from our parents, whether it's health or unhealthy. He was not any more "easily" manipulated than any other human being raised by someone. Children believe the version of the world their parents present to them. Period.[/quote]

+1.  And children are even more likely to believe the person who raised them if they’ve already lost or been abandoned by their birth parents.

Unfortunately, OP, even if you were able to have a more sympathetic view of DH’s aunt and DH, both you and DH would need some serious therapy to unravel the effects if her on him and you and your marriage.

Start by trying teletherapy.  Maybe one or both of you will feel more comfortable starting in the guise of bereavement therapy. 
[/quote]

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