Reply to If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?

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Reply to "If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wife here ... not sure how other wives get away with no having sex even though they don't want to. I don't want to, but I feel it is kind of a requirement of staying married.[/quote]

Same. It’s kind of like a weekly chore I mentally check off.[/quote]

DH here.  I get the lack of desire for sex, but why the deprivation of all physical affection?  As the OP wrote:  “ She’s not mean or uncaring, but makes anything more than a peck on the lips or chaste hug feel like an imposition. Even casual physical affection (holding hands, playful grabbing, whatever) is pretty much gone. ”

Shouldn’t a DW hate herself for being so standoffish to her DH who loves her?  (Assuming that they both want to stay married, and that one spouse hasn’t gone to seed.)[/quote]

I'll explain why this happens with us. DH has never shown any physical affection except as a prelude to sex. So when he approaches with a kiss or a pat on the behind, I know that reciprocating means that he will expect sex to follow. If I don't want to raise false expectations, I have to be indifferent to the casual physical affection. I wish it were different, because I actually love to hold hands, cuddle, etc. But I learned a long time ago that I can't have that all by itself without being considered a tease.[/quote]

Yes!!! DH doesn’t understand why I don’t want to snuggle with him at night... every time I do, he thinks it’s an invitation, so unless I’m up for sex, I have to steer clear or turn him down.[/quote]

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