Reply to Do I have a right to be upset with my 25 year old DD?

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Reply to "Do I have a right to be upset with my 25 year old DD?"

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[quote=Anonymous]1) That other PP nailed it, you are disappointed because she's showing you her values, and they conflict with yours.

2) Sure be disappointed, as you should be

3) However; at that age they are clueless about Grandma's time-being-short etc, so don't get TOO disappointed.

4) Likely, though, there was someone at the St. Pat's party she has a thing for, and that is why she opted out.

5) Please give feedback (you will always be her mom, so you always have a right to give unsolicited feedback!) but you have to make it EFFECTIVE.  So make it constructive:

I'd just say something like, since you didn't come to the party, if you could please send Grandma a card (or call her; whatever).

Please do NOT say "Grandma was hurt you didn't come" or "Grandma noticed you were not there" because you are now negatively impacting whatever relationship DD and Grandma have with each other.  If you HAVE to comment, say "I wished you had come" but even better, "I wished you had been there, but maybe next time!"

I'm just saying, don't focus on telling her how you wished she had taken a different path....just invite her down the path you would like her to take the next time. [/quote]

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