Reply to Please be kind & compassionate: 3.0 GPA with tutoring in 3 classes, & 26 ACT with extra time (ADD)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- I struggled initially in college (suspect stealth ADD, my DS has ADHD). The key was

[b]a) choosing a college close to home so that I could be home on the weekends. ADD isn't just an issue with academic achievement-- I notice with my DS that it's "load" in general- social, organizational, emotional, etc. Being able to decompress on the weekends if I needed (home cooking, just focusing on studying and sleeping) made it manageable. [/b]

b) I would consider an executive functioning coach for your DS--now and while he's in college. A coach can help him organize, plan, prioritize, etc. I think that can be one of the biggest challenges with a drastically increased workload and expectation. [/quote]

OP here.  Thanks for the helpful input.  We'd love to have DS close to home, but he'd love to spread his wings.  We have family all over the country, and figure he'll never be too far from a relative.  Both DH and I went to colleges far from home, but I can see how it would have been pretty nice on occasion to have the option to go home on a Sunday for dinner and hanging out.[/quote]

...that was the nice thing about going to school close to home but living in a dormitory. I chose how often I wanted to visit-- during my first year, I was home quite often- at least every other weekend, but as I got used to school, I became more self sufficient, so tended to stay on campus to study and be with friends.

It's also nice because you can pay in state tuition. If you're seriously concerned about your DS's success at college, you could offer to pay in state, then out of state if he wants to transfer or go to graduate school-- and at that point, he would be more mature and you would feel confident of his ability to handle it.

I know what you are saying, but it sounds like your DS is going to need some supports for college-- his grades and test scores are fine, but he gets a lot of support now to achieve that + you might be doing things to help him that you aren't cognizant of-- in our case, I help my DS a lot with organizing. It's something I do without even realizing it-- this morning he would have left the house without half of his stuff, if I didn't say anything. When kids have ADHD, we parents learn to compensate and it becomes second nature.

I will say that if your DS goes to college far away-- I would invest not only in academic tutoring, but an executive functioning coach. That way, you can have some assurance that your DS isn't missing important assignments or failing to plan ahead for major tests and projects. The academic struggles are usually secondary compared with the EF challenges of ADHD. [/quote]

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