Reply to Which is worse- Snapchat, Instagram, or tiktok? 12 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a middle school counselor and also have a rising 7th grader. I don't allow ANY social media. Not because it is "unsafe", but because of what I've seen it do to kids. I've had kids nearly suicidal over what they see on social media. They see other kids who post pictures where they are excluded and left out. I gave kids who are comparing their lives against others. The gifts they get the trips they go on, the list of material comparisons goes on and on. Even adults struggle with envy, feeling left out and the resulting loneliness that social media causes. You know what kids I don't see? The ones not on social media. I have some kids that dont care about social media, are not on it, and are happy. Each year the drama and social problems from social media get worse and worse and for a kid sitting at home alone on a Saturday night looking at snapchat or Instagram of what appears to be EVERYONE having the time of their LIVES while they didn't get an invite is a huge huge deal to a 13yr old. Most adults struggle in this scenario.To a teen or tween it feels utterly catastrophic.

I deal with these conversations, tears, stress and sadness over it on a daily basis. Why intentionally introduce into your young  adults world something that will potentially make them feel depressed and inadequate? They are already insecure. This magnifies it. Give them the gift of allowing their brains and emotional intelligence time go mature before throwing them to the wolves.
 [/quote]

Great parent and great counselor.[/quote]

These problems seem a lot more minimal in my child's 7-12 school, I know the principal and school counsellor. There is plenty of boyfriend tears but not the catastrophe you speak of over exclusion. Then again where I am in Canada there is a lot less culture of forcing little kids to include everyone, even people they don't like. When parents lose the ability to control bigger kids, and these bigger kids start doing what they want, the kids who were less liked in the first place are suddenly on the out. Some things are easier to learn when young. My child was left out sometimes when she was young, but adjusting this in lower elementary was huge. It's harder to tell a teen in hormone related identity crisis why kids might not be including them.

Plus lots of these kids have way more going on that just being left out. I do not think this is a social media problem. If they didn't see the pictures they would still know. At least I did growing up pre smartphones (almost pre internet lol).

But it is okay for kids to know and see differences exist. Just a lot easier to start when young, when there's less on the line. I think parenting has a much bigger influence than banning social media. I can imagine your job is stressful. But I don't think the problem is just social media. [/quote]

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