Reply to 15 yo girl had a meltdown about buying something herself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd have taken the money back and said, "Fine, then don't get any."  Kids need to push through difficult feelings sometimes, or suffer the consequences. [/quote]

Aaaand, what are your qualifications for saying something like this? What do you do for a living? Do you have any education, training, or experience in education, mental health, or social dynamics??

People like you just kill me. You know nothing, yet spout off absolutes like you do. You're ignorant, self righteous, and have an inflated sense of your own intelligence. You generalize your very very small limited experience of yourself and maybe your family and extrapolate to the entire human population.

I'm sure you're an exemplary parent  :roll:  :roll:

[/quote]

My lord calm down.

I have had anxiety all my life, and wasn’t medicated until I was in my 40’s. My 11 year old DS is exhibiting signs of anxiety, and I 100% agree with PP. If he doesn’t want to order in a restaurant or go to the snack bar at the pool because he’s embarrassed, then he doesn’t eat. I know he can do it - I’ve seen him do it many times. Sometimes tough love IS the answer. I had to find ways to get over this myself growing up without therapy and/or meds.  Not everyone needs these things. I think many people these days are quick to jump to therapy or meds. Sometimes natural consequences really are the answer. [/quote]

How sad that you didn't get treated until your 40s and you are content to let your kid suffer too. [/quote]

But that’s the thing. I found ways to cope. I didn’t ever feel like I was “suffering”. I was only medicated after my dad passed away and was having a super hard time. I’m weaning myself off now.

We don’t need to make sure our kids never “suffer”, as you say. We need to teach them how to cope. [/quote]

Telling them to do it or no cookies is not teaching them how to cope. [/quote]

Natural consequences of no cookies will help them figure out how to cope. Believe me, I lived it. And I didn’t need someone to tell me how to do it.

We all have different opinions on this. I think there’s a HUGE difference between debilitating anxiety, where the kid won’t go to school or speak to anyone - that is a case for therapy and or meds. But not wanting to go buy Girl Scout cookies?  C’mon - we don’t need to bust out the therapy and meds for petty stuff like that. The kid needs to figure out herself how to deal. If there’s constant intervention telling you how/what to do, how is the kid going to learn to be self sufficient and navigate life?[/quote]

So if it WERE an ongoing problem, you would treat it. If it is a one off and not normally an anxious kid, you would just let the natural consequences take care of it. Why didn't you just say that to begin with? [/quote]

If it’s an ongoing problem about little things like Girl Scout cookies, no, I wouldn’t treat it. If it was debilitating, and interfering with daily life on an extreme level, then yes I would. [/quote]

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