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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I dated a guy like this.  It was frustrating and hard on me emotionally.  He was emotionally very closed off and completely incapable of physical affection.  (I knew a couple of other girls who had dated him and he was the same way with them.)  I finally gave up on him, though we kept going back and forth in a FWB thing for YEARS.

He ended up meeting some much younger (and let's face it hotter) woman, marrying her and having kids with her pretty much right away.  That stung. I kind of thought he would be single forever.  But I have to remind myself that he is probably like that with her too.  And it may be hard for her, but she, unlike me, actually has to wake up with him every day and parent with him.  Having a guy who could only show me the barest hints of affection would have worn on me over time.  I think if I'd married him, I would eventually have had an affair with the first guy who gave me a really good hug because I would have been so starved for affection.

Could you take a break from him and the relationship?  See if he misses  you and if it makes some things clearer to him?  Or see if you feel ok on your own, and realize that you are happier without him.  Good luck.[/quote]
It could actually be that he is different with her because he has grown up.  I was kind of closed off emotionally to a guy I was dating; he was kind of a commitment phobe (prior issues with previous GF) -- we were in two different places in our lives, and while we kept coming back together, the relationship was never going to progress.

FF years later - we are both married to different people; I'm more affectionate and a bit more open with my DH.  I grew up, dealt with some issues, but it also helped that DH was not a commitment phobe.

Sometimes two people can really love each other but not be right for each other and be in two different places in their lives so it's not going to work out.  That could be you and that guy and  OP and her BF.
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