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[quote=Anonymous]OP again...I really appreciate the conversation.

I promised to share my thoughts about God.  Let me begin by explaining why I did not believe in God.

I thought God, if He did exist, was a sadist, a horrible tyrant, a narcissist.  He wanted to be worshipped?  He wanted us to obey?  He made all these rules that would make me miserable?  He set us up to fail?  He could have done so many things better.  He could have made us all automatically want to do whatever it was He arbitrarily wanted us to do, instead of letting everything get so f---ed up.  If He could order the universe to spin in harmony, how hard would it have been to order our human natures to stay harmonious?

I read Dostoyevsky and cried until I threw up during the scene of the little boy torn to pieces by wild dogs.  I looked at my boyfriend and wanted to have sex with him.  I saw myself as strong and smart and I knew I wanted to live my life in freedom.  Freedom trumped some out of touch silent being who was trying to tell me what to do.

Then I just ceased to think about God at all.  He was never discussed in my classes in college, or by my friends at work, and God, faith, and religion became cultural allegiances, irrational but generally cute traditions that people donned in nostalgia, but it had no connection to my intellectual, emotional, or personal life.

I wanted to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I was kind, generous, loyal, and socially conscious.  I was making the world a better place.  God truly had no part in my life, and I was doing fabulously well.  I was madly in love, a perfectionist, on my way to big things.[/quote]

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