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[quote=Anonymous]It took me saying the words 'I will leave if this doesn't get better' for things to improve. And a lot of couple's therapy. And then me regularly just leaving him with the kids, even though he would get angry at me. At one point I told him (far in advance) I was going to clean the house so I needed him to take the kids out (because previously, I would clean the house and if the kids were home, he'd ignore them so I'd be watching them as well.) My two-year-old didn't want to go and my husband screamed at me that he couldn't take him. I said 'he's two, pick him up.' There was a lot of that at the beginning - just tons of push-back against anything I asked for, tons of arguing. He told me there was no point in cleaning if our house was just going to get messy again. Like, with a straight face, he said that to me. As much as I said I couldn't handle things, I need your help, etc., none of it sunk in at all. He did not care about my feelings. But, for whatever reason, he cared about me leaving. And then it did genuinely get better. But if he hadn't, I would have had to decide. (He was also cheating. And I don't say that to minimize it or bury the lede. The cheating was not as a bad as the daily contempt and refusal to parent or clean. And the contempt preceded the cheating.) [/quote]

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