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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I should add that right now we are trying to have family dinners once per week, based on his suggestion. We've done two since he's moved out and I find them painful due to the circumstances of how things ended, especially the one at his new place. I'm trying but still on the fence about the value.
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I disagree with some of the others. I think family dinners are a good idea, and with time the pain will fade. I'd keep SOME pics of you all together. And as you note, do not bad mouth him. I understand this will be incredibly painful for you in the short term, and a therapist should help with that. But, keeping it so the kids don't have to choose, don't always have to be spread between two of everything, will be so, so helpful.

The couple of divorced friends and acquaintances that I have that share birthdays, have family dinners, share holidays (so kids get to be with everyone) as much as possible are winning at life. Everyone was (eventually) happier. Kids super well-adjusted. It wasn't always that way at first (esp where there was cheating involved) but after some passage at time, they are all better off.

Just recognize there is a light at the end and it will eventually get better. By contrast, my parents were contentious from day one of their separation. It was truly awful. [/quote]

In addition to keeping our photos, we did do dinners together once a week for the first year. They fell off after time. We do holidays together (xmas morning we open all gifts from both parents, xmas eve we split in half). DS birthday we always spend together for dinner and then his actual birthday party we are both there.

We share Thanksgiving day and on Halloween we both go TOTing with DS and other families at school.

Other than that we don't split the other holidays but we don't do a big celebration for (example) Easter anyway so DS is just with the parent he's with on all of the other holidays and that's fine. [/quote]

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