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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I think if you ALL decide that moving your parents is a decision that needs to be implemented now, your mother will not be able to fight it.

So do that.

[/quote]

Wow. That is a truly horrible thing to do.  OP’s mom seems lucid and just values her correct residence.  Forcing her out is basically treating her like a child.  Op and her siblings should meet with her parents and help facilitate the conversation.  Maybe there is a middle ground.  They coukd hire a service to help clean out some of the clutter and/or reconfigure the house to live in a portion of it so dad does not need to use so many stairs.  Or maybe mom is more afraid no one will visit if they move and the kids could ease her concerns. [/quote]

PP you replied to.

I don't see it that way. OP's father desperately wants to move, and both will have to move eventually. Moving is emotionally upsetting (even for the one who wants to move) and logistically burdensome, so it's best to do it once and for all, early on, so that her mother has time to adjust while she still can.

[/quote]

They don't have to move.  Many people, especially in a house like that find ways to make it work.  OP doesn't want to help and that is the issue.[/quote]

Did you even read the original post?  OP's dad wants to move.  I don't know exactly how some of you think OP should "help" her parents stay in a huge, deteriorating, over cluttered house that her dad finds hard to get around.  That makes zero sense.

OP, I sympathize.  My parents are a bit younger but were at odds about downsizing for quite some time.  However, they at least agreed that the former situation wasn't workable.  My mom's knees are terrible (and she keeps putting off surgery, but that's another story) and was having a lot of trouble with the stairs.  The house was probably only 2000 sqft but two stories plus a basement and laundry was in the basement. The difference was, my dad wanted to REALLY downsize into an apartment so that he would have no yard/upkeep responsibilities, while she just wanted a smaller, ranch style house with a garage and a basement so she could still bring all of the stuff they had accumulated.  She even floated the idea of renovating their current house to add a first floor master and laundry, but my dad shot that down.  They argued for a long time and I wasn't sure they were ever going to move, but then they witnessed friends being forced to move due to poor health.  They also found a compromise rental- a townhouse in an over 55 community that had the storage my mom wanted but everything they needed on the first floor and no upkeep.  However, they sometimes say it's temporary until they can find a new house to buy, so we'll see.  They seem happy there though.

Obviously, you can't force your mom to do anything, but would it help if you and your sister offered to help with the cleanout?  I wonder what would happen if your dad really did follow through and move out.[/quote]

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