Reply to Dating after loss of spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s up to you and no one else. If it feels like the right time it is regardless of others opinions. [/quote]

Widower here. I was ready to date before the kids were ready for me to date. Don’t rush them.[/quote]

My mother died when I was in my late teens.  My dad did not date again for years and I would have been fine with him dating again sooner.  I never felt like he was trying to replace my mom or anything and that it was hard for him being alone after my brother and I were out of the house.  I know even decades later and since his remarriage, he still misses my mom.  I think it would be a harder if the marriage had been rocky.
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I wanted to add .. my mom's passing was not sudden.  at all.  So we also processed some of our grief before her actual passing.   I think there is some truth to men just needing someone, especially if they've been married a long time.

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One would hope that a father of minor kids would have the self-knowledge to go beyond "men just need someone" and work to support his own children instead of just saying "hey kids here's your new mom! aren't we all happy!" For adult kids he can do as he likes, but still shouldn't expect his kids to be all of a sudden on cloud 9 about the new woman. A reflective person would understand that their experience of a new partner soon after the spouse's death is radically different from what their kids are experiencing, and respect that. [/quote]

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