Reply to The impossiblity of mothering

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would normally say there's something psychological at play...but you prefaced this whole thing by stating that you don't like discipline and you don't actually think it is part of mothering.  Are you sure you have not created this problem by not exercising discipline properly?   Before you do down the road of "this kid won't be fazed by punishment" I would think about taking a parenting class or get a parenting coach or similar to learn how to discipline properly.

And to all of you "I don't like discipline" parents - I hope you learn from this.  Understand that your kids NEED and CRAVE discipline.  Kids feel safe when YOU implement boundaries, and when you are consistent. implementing them.  Kids feel safe when you do what you say you will do.  Just the other day I was at a playgroup and an upset five year old came crying to his mom that Larla had broken his toy.  He kept saying "I'm going to kick Larla!  I'm going to kick Larla!"  And his parents did nothing.  It was so sad.  He was desperate for a boundary and desperate for a parent to say "We don't kick."   Discipline isn't a bad word, and I suspect that Op has created this issue by thinking that it is.  [/quote]

OP here. I do discipline my kids. My point is that it feels like a split -- the connected, warm relationship and the one that needs to mete out a consequence that is strong enough to make a difference. That's the point I'm at right now.

Kid is 12 to those who asked. Father is out of the picture.[/quote]
What are the warm relationships aspects in regards to this child? How is the warm relationship manifested?[/quote]

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