Reply to The impossiblity of mothering

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a single mom to a kid like this, and it is SO HARD. I understand you on the dichotomy between the nurturing, and the discipline too - it’s hard. And as they get older it’s really hard to let go of the reins too. My son is 11, so a little younger, but I’ve had to work really really hard the last year or so to make sure that we have positive interactions every single day. That was easy when I still read to him at night, but he doesn’t want to do that anymore. So I had to find other ways. What does he enjoy? Does he have positive outlets for his energy? Like sports or clubs? If he’s angry about not having his father around can you apply with big brothers or something similar to try and find him a positive role model? It’s not a dad, but it’s someone who isn’t you and who can hold him accountable but also be a mentor.

I’ve also had to choose my battles wisely, and give him autonomy in places I didn’t think I could, which has worked better than I expected.

As for how to act myself? I’m in therapy, and I’ve started meditating every night using the app Calm (there are so many, I tried a bunch and liked that one best - but pick one YOU like) and it’s helped me a lot with being “in the present”. Therapy has helped me figure out how to not be so invested in single interactions, and to see the places my son is succeeding. [/quote]

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