Reply to Fostering - give it to me straight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I learned that it's not as common for children under age 5 and babies to need foster care because their extended family members are more likely to take them in. And the older kids, sadly there's often a reason their grandparents, aunts and uncles won't take them. Their trauma manifests in serious behavioral problems. The problems are disruptive and often involve violence and/or abuse towards other children in the home. It is not possible to just love them and hope for the best.

If you're lucky, Your own young bio children will be exposed to undesirable behaviors, language, habits, etc (and that's if you foster a relatively well behaved child).

Undesirable language! Perish the thought.

What is your problem? Op wants to know what to expect. This is something she can expect.[/quote]

+1.  Prospective foster parents should go into it with fully open eyes.  If you grew up in a stable loving middle class home where kids were not constantly exposed to age-inappropriate media, language, sexual behavior, substance abuse and violence, then you can be in for quite a shock.  In addition, one issue that gets very little air time is the prevalence of FASD  (fetal alcohol exposure) in foster kids.  FASD is the root cause of many developmental delays, and learning and behavioral difficulties.  It is not just "trauma" ---though certainly trauma is present, even in healthy kids in foster care.  Based on my own experiences, when I see statements about older kids being placed in group homes and residential treatments, that screams to me FASD--as kids who have the more difficult FASD behavioral issues (lack of empathy and appreciation of natural consequences, uncontrollable and often violent or destructive rages) become unmanageable.  Some issues cannot just be "loved" away, and you need to go into foster parenting realizing that.[/quote]

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