Reply to 17 year old son planning on tricking us to spend night with gf -gf’s parents away

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Reply to "17 year old son planning on tricking us to spend night with gf -gf’s parents away"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids are younger, so this is a sincere question, not a judgmental one. Aren’t teens supposed to rebel? Isn’t it part of growing up and gaining independence? I know we won’t like it, I know it means risky behavior, but isn’t it part of the process? We lied to our parents, we snuck out sometimes. And I was a “good” kid! I do think at 17 it’s important to give a little more leeway. But my oldest is 12, so I’m not there yet...I may be eating my words in 2025...[/quote]

"Gaining independence" should be earned by being trustworthy. Don't equate it with being a lying sneak.

Lying is an immature behavior. Being unable to delay gratification is an immature trait. It's not like this boy even has to delay seeing this GF much. Note that this boy's mom is NOT forbidding him from seeing the GF alone, just from spending the night. He already has a very late curfew, so it's not like he's on a short leash already. He has remarkable freedom compared to the teens my DC knows. But being a stupid teen, he still acted like he's locked down (life is so unfair, mom is such a helicopter!) and he concocted a deception--not to see a forbidden-fruit Juliet but to see if he could get away with a few extra hours with a GF he already can see plenty, and late into the night, under his parents' lenient rules. OP, I'd ground the ingrate for a lot longer than you're planning to, and I'd tell him he blew all the easy privileges he already had but didn't realize were so good.

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+1[/quote]

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