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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All I want for Christmas is to see both my parents on Christmas morning; to be together and relaxed with my real family, not shuffled around with complicated plans, spending half the time feeling uncomfortable with strangers.

But hey...sorry I forgot to say thanks for the movie.

[b](By the way, OP? In real families, when we do things together as a family, like go to the movies, it's not a thank-you situation. That's just spending time together.)[/b][/quote]

NP. I expect my kids (4&7) to say thank you for taking them to the movies (which I just did for Frozen 2). It's expensive and it's a treat to go, so showing gratitude seems appropriate. [/quote]

Thank you. I feel that this is the piece that has been missed by most on this thread...[/quote]

How old are the kids?  What you're not getting is that it is very different for a parent to enforce please/thank you, than it is to "feel sad about Christmas" and label children as "ungrateful" because [b]they didn't say the exact thing you expected them to[/b].  As I and others have written, expecting a "thank you" for movie tickets is a bit beyond what most of us do for younger kids.  If they are 15, maybe.  But still, it's manners, and manners are taught.  If you want your step-kids to have certain manners, then discuss it with their dad.  But that's not what this is about, is it?  It's not about actually teaching/raising kids. It's about making conclusions that the kids are bad, and their mom is out to get you. [/quote]

What do you mean, say the exact thing I expected? You mean, thank you? Not sure what else they could have said. The key here is that they didn't say anything.

Kids are early/mid teens. In my mind, they absolutely should be capable of managing a thank you.

I was feeling sad about Christmas because it feels like, no matter what we do, it is never good enough. The kids never fail to let their dad know that the way their mom does things is better. And yes, it colored how I was feeling about the holiday. So sue me. I guess because I'm a stepmom. I'm not allowed to have any feelings? That's how a lot of you are coming across.

I'm expected to have endless wells of love and empathy - and zero frustrations - but none is available when I might need it?

It's pretty interesting, because there are plenty of posts on the teen board that talk about how parents can't wait til their kids leave, how their teens are a******, how DIFFICULT it is - and there is a good deal of sympathy/empathy. It makes me wonder what the response would have been if I posted in the teens board and hadn't identified as a step mom...

And, no, I don't think EW is out to get me. But her actions over the years have proven that she IS out to get DH, and (despite counseling) has no interest in actually co-parenting. 
[/quote]

jeebus, go back to the stepmommy boards to get the validation you seek that the kids are terrible and you are perfect. [/quote]

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