Reply to Feeling sad about Christmas

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Feeling sad about Christmas"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Well, this blew up in a way that I did not expect - though I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Step moms definitely get their fair amount of flak on this forum.

There are a couple of things I'd like to share - first about why I am on this forum in particular, and second about my perception of gratitude.

There are a couple of other forums out there that are step mom specific - and I generally find them to be pretty negative and unhelpful. Sure, if I just wanted to have others "validate" (more like commiserate with) the fact that I "don't like my step kids", my step kids are "entitled brats", the biomom is "toxic and alienating" I could just post in those spaces. But that is not what I want, so I don't use them as a resource.

DCUM is not an easy space to be in as a step mom. But I DO find value here - even if it's sometimes hard to read. I don't personally think I am am evil step mom personified, and DH says I do and care a lot for his kids. Is it a struggle a LOT of the time? Yes, but as everyone likes to point out, this is what I signed up for. So I come here, doing my best to navigate what is a less than optimal situation. I think many of us find that to be the case in our lives, in one regard or another.

Now, about gratitude...

I just replied thank you to a poster who agrees that saying thank you for a movie is not an unrealistic expectation - but I am more struck by the number of parents posting here who think that this is NOT something to express gratitude for.

In my mind, expressing gratitude to family members - even/particularly for the small stuff - is basic. It is the thing that teaches us how to be grateful and gracious with others. DH and I model this in our home. We thank each other for cooking, for putting away the dishes, for doing the laundry - as well as when one of us takes the other out to dinner, or to an event.

I'm kind of shocked at how many people don't think this is important - but I guess we can agree to disagree.

Now that I am writing, there are a couple of other things that were in this thread...

To the point of these kids being from a split home - I'm sorry, but that is an excuse. I am the child of parents who were functional drug addicts. My childhood was a roller coaster of highs and lows, quite literally. Similarly, there are plenty of people in this world who are from less than ideal situations - and they can still manage to be grateful. We all face adversity - many of us in our formative years - but that doesn't give us free rein to sh** on people.

And, there seems to be an assumption that these are young kids, which they are not. They are early/mid teens. And, yeah, yeah, I know, teens are self absorbed, etc. etc. 
That's all well and good - but it does not excuse them from having, and using, some manners, either. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics