Reply to How to support friend whose DH ran off with a 20-something

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry your kind and practical question has been hijacked by the posts about why men supposedly do this. That same poster or handful of posters comes to spew their projections of their own "sexless marriage" frustrations all over threads that aren't about that. Ignore them.

To answer what you actually asked: Be a sympathetic ear but also proactively invite her to do things--exercise is great, as one PP noticed. Movies and/or plays that are comical and NOT about romances or breakups etc. Get her out to  a theater--don't let her hibernate at home with DVDs. If she likes something like crafts, find a craft show to attend, or if she's into a sport, go with her to a sporting event. Museum exhibits etc.

Things where she can focus on what she's seeing in front of her and can be distracted momentarily and "feel normal." Things where afterward you both can discuss the activity, if she isn't up to discussing her marriage.

When my friend's ex left, she wanted times when she was not thinking about it all -- times when she was being treated just as a friend by her friends and not as "poor 'Sally' who must be so sad." People betrayed like this can feel they're seen only as The Victim and not as a person separate from the fact of the betrayal. 
 
You're a good friend to want to be there for her, OP.

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