Reply to I know they’re wrong, so why do I feed bad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Perhaps I just can’t relate, but I am sure my SIL might say something similar about my parents... honestly in our case is her and her kids’ loss. They are missing out on amazing grandparents that could take her kids skiing, sailing and traveling the world (like they do with our kids). My parents are not perfect and I can see how SIL might think my mom is “manipulative” and “overbearing”... but honestly it’s their kids’ loss mainly (and my kids because they don’t get to see their cousins much).
Our issue is with SiL since my brother had a great relationship when he sees us solo.[/quote]

You sound like a nightmare. If you had these opinions about me I’d keep you and your mother away from my kids too.[/quote]

This poster could easily be my SIL. DH has pulled away from his parents (himself. Not at my urging). Why? Because they regularly call/text/email him calling him names:criticizing (he is selfish, amoral, materialistic, etc etc), they criticize his career, the way he handles finances, his wife, his parenting, relentlessly on and on and on. This has been happening his entire adult life. He has tried all methods to get them to back off - nothing works. So he keeps them well at arms length. His sister sounds just like the poster above- she won’t listen to the reasons he doesn’t have a good relationship with their parents (she accuses him of being oversensitive, overreacting, or flat out lying) and thinks DH is the cruel and selfish etc. Of course she does- her parents are wonderful to her.

My family has its issues but there is a difference- when someone is hurting another persons feelings and is asked to stop/change/back off etc that is respected for the most part (not always easily, but eventually happens). My DH is 42yrs old..eventually he got tired of waiting. I don’t know the root cause but as his wife I am glad he pulled away from them, yes. I watched this go on for many years and kept my mouth shut but I do not feel sorry for my ILs at all..and I think my SIL is an absolute witch for guilting DH about it.

Just a perspective from “the other side”. [/quote]

Sounds like he’s the scapegoat and his sister’s the golden child. This is actually a thing that’s worth googling. Yes, that poster you’re referring to sounds horrible, not very intelligent, and unempathetic.[/quote]

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