Reply to Considering getting my parents an apartment in the same building as me...am I crazy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is unhealthy.

If they moved to an over 55 community all their amenities will be right there which will encourage independence ... which is healthy.

If you are close you will do everything for them which will make their health decline faster. [/quote]

Why do you assume she would do everything for them? [/quote]

Because they'd be constantly calling and knocking on the door and guilt-tripping her.

She's basically signing up to be an unpaid maid / go-fer / lackey.[/quote]
I don't see where she says that in her post. She says her dad might knock on her door a lot, but I saw that as about seeking her company, not about guilt-tripping or turning her into a maid/lackey, whatever. She knows her parents and her relationship with them. [/quote]

If he was in an over 55 community he would find a plethora of people with tons of time on their hands and the same interests. He would not need "her company". ... besides, her company is limited at least to when she is not working, working out, doing hobbies, having a life.

So if he depends on her for "company" it will be limited. At an over 55 community his company (which helps with memory, happiness, etc) will be plenty. [/quote]

My ILs live in a 55 and older; they're in their late 70s, as are many of the people in the neighborhood. Not a lot of late 80s, early 90s folks at the wine tastings, pickle ball tournaments, progressive dinners, etc. OP doesn't say she will be the only social outlet, just one of them. And if she's going to be checking on them anyway, why not make it convenient to her?[/quote]

The average age to move into Independent Living is around 82.  These communities offer 3 meals a day, weekly maid service, laundry assistance, entertainment, activities, outings, bus transportation to various stores/doctors offices/restaurants etc.  It's for people who are still pretty active but don't want to deal with home maintenance, house cleaning, cooking and enjoy having social activities and bus transport.

Assisted Living is for people who would like the above but also need help with bathing/dressing/medication management, etc.

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